“We all want to be happy, and we are all going to die. Those are the facts that apply to every single one of us, and both of them, are inevitable. In the long run, we are all dead. That is the ultimate goal of our existence- death. Since the day we are born society teaches us how to die. Some of us are dead to begin with, or die in the midst of life. Those who die before their time, and don’t die fully, are the ones left to be nothing more than empty, wandering corpses who’ve served their purpose, but still remain standing, because their hearts refuse to stop beating. Emotionally, we are dead, but physically, we remain somewhat alive.” Those were his words, and they were engraved into my mind the moment he spoke them: “That is the ultimate goal of our existence- death”

I knew he was wrong. I knew he didn’t really believe that. I knew I didn’t really believe that, yet somehow, hearing those words come out of his mouth brought me comfort. They were so amazingly soothing! They made so much sense! Even if his cynicism was nothing more than a grand facade, those words brought me the comfort I’d been lacking, and miserably craving for so long.

I knew right from wrong, just as I knew a the truth from a lie, and I very well knew pain from comfort because of the excess of one, and lack of the other. And it was because I knew the difference, that I consciously made the decision of believing a lie, because the pain had already served its purpose: I was already dead on the inside. It was just a matter of time before death’s carriage stopped by to finish the job he’d already started.