Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Thank you
10:43 AM
I was gazing at the distorted image on my window, when I started counting, one by one, the tears that made their way back into the bittersweet sky; a thank you note attached, showing my gratitude for the priceless treasure you gave me- the gift of a lesson well taught.
“You would never betray me…” I thought, and countless times, I repeated those words to myself, over and over.
What a fool I was, to let myself be blinded by the deceitful fold of your affections; so wrapped up in my innocent world of childish dreams.
What a fool I was, to let myself fall victim to your fickle heart; lured into your trap by a mirage of seemingly unconditional love.
“You could never betray me…” I thought, and countless times, I repeated those words to myself, over and over.
What a fool I was, not to realize that the time we spent together was created on nothing more than a foundation of lies.
What a fool I was, not to realize that the time we spent together was nothing more than an illusion.
I was gazing at the faint reflection on my window, when I started counting, one by one, the tears that made their way back into the bittersweet sky; a thank you note attached, showing my gratitude for the precious gift you bestowed upon me- the gift of a lesson well taught.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
What's wrong little bird?
7:30 PM
What’s wrong little bird?
Why can’t your heart begin to move?
Are you still trapped inside that golden cage of empty dreams? On your accomplished wings, fly to a far away place.
Depart to a place for no one to know
Follow that beam of pallid light into a realm only you know
Embrace those unfulfilled dreams that lie before you
It’s such a beautiful night
It’s such a lonely night
It’s such a sorrowful night,
embraced by the moonlight in a deep sleep
What’s wrong little bird?
Why can’t your heart begin to move?
Has that wound in your chest not mended yet?
Don’t let yourself be intoxicated with the poison
Don’t let yourself waste away every breath
Don’t let yourself waste away in a state of alienation
What’s wrong little bird?
Why can’t your heart begin to move?
Are your wings so tainted with insanity you can no longer fly?
Cast the madness off your feathers
The dead are best left to reside in their coffins.
Embrace those unfulfilled dreams that lie before you
It’s such a beautiful night
It’s such a lonely night
It’s such a sorrowful night,
embraced by the moonlight in a deep sleep
Cheer up little bird.
Don’t let yourself be lured into a trap by the bittersweet fragrance of wilting roses
Don’t let yourself be enveloped by the sweet deceiving comfort of delusion
Cheer up little bird
It’s such a beautiful night
But even though It’s such a lonely night,
Such a sorrowful night, embraced by the moonlight in a deep sleep
Soon you’ll fly to a far away place.
Depart to a place for no one to know
Follow that beam of pallid light into a realm only you know
And mend your broken heart in the rays of sunlight in a lazy afternoon.
Make it fade away
6:50 PM
Throw everything away. Make it fade away- vanish.
Embrace the melancholy in the wind, as we intoxicate ourselves with the poison
Throw everything away. Make it fade away- vanish.
Come lie with me here among the pricking thorns-
among this infinite garden of wilting red, and embrace it.
Throw everything away. Make it fade away- vanish.
Come play with me among these crimson ruins of sorrow and regret.
Embrace the melancholy in the wind, as we intoxicate ourselves with the poison,
here in our far-off world of wilting red, as we lie among the pricking thorns.
Let's create an enchanting dream
6:24 PM
Let’s create an enchanting dream, before the flower that blossoms dies and shrivels away.
I’ll enchase the memory in my chest as though it were a precious jewel invulnerable to the passing of time.
Soon, I’ll learn the meaning of that everlasting downpour of tears coming from my tainted skies, and the withered, lifeless trees in our desolate garden, will murmur words of overflowing memories along the roadside.
Tomorrow night, after the rain ceases to fall,
I’ll look up above, and wish upon a starless sky.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Untitled
9:39 PM
I was nothing compared to him. He was young, beautiful, elegant- everything I wanted to be. He had the strength, the power, the control I yearned for. He could tell himself lie after lie, and find true comfort from each and every one of them. I was nothing but a coward. I still am nothing more than a coward, and I hate myself for it.
“We all want to be happy, and we are all going to die. Those are the facts that apply to every single one of us, and both of them, are inevitable. In the long run, we are all dead. That is the ultimate goal of our existence- death. Since the day we are born society teaches us how to die. Some of us are dead to begin with, or die in the midst of life. Those who die before their time, and don’t die fully, are the ones left to be nothing more than empty, wandering corpses who’ve served their purpose, but still remain standing, because their hearts refuse to stop beating. Emotionally, we are dead, but physically, we remain somewhat alive.” Those were his words, and they were engraved into my mind the moment he spoke them: “That is the ultimate goal of our existence- death”
I knew he was wrong. I knew he didn’t really believe that. I knew I didn’t really believe that, yet somehow, hearing those words come out of his mouth brought me comfort. They were so amazingly soothing! They made so much sense! Even if his cynicism was nothing more than a grand facade, those words brought me the comfort I’d been lacking, and miserably craving for so long.
I knew right from wrong, just as I knew a the truth from a lie, and I very well knew pain from comfort because of the excess of one, and lack of the other. And it was because I knew the difference, that I consciously made the decision of believing a lie, because the pain had already served its purpose: I was already dead on the inside. It was just a matter of time before death’s carriage stopped by to finish the job he’d already started.
